Translation: I'm Not Dying!

I am very happy to announce that am normal! Ok, I know that many will beg to differ with this statement, but I have proof! I am normal! Well, at least from a blood work point of view. My numbers were off the charts last year, but now I am well in normal range. There won't be any heart attack, stroke, dialysis, kidney failure, or death in my future! Well, death is inevitable, but by reducing these numbers, I have extended my expiration date by many years. Ah, life. What a awesome thing!